Do you see a road? Take it. Where does it go? Who knows. Somebody does, but do you? Does it matter who made it? No. It exists. And the thing that lives at the end just is, and how you experience it has very little to do with who had experienced it before.
For a really, really long time, I hated LA. I thought it was a place full of narcissistic jerk faces who only cared about the kind of car you drove or how much money you made. And then somewhere, probably from some person or a movie on the Sundance Channel (probably the latter), I heard this (paraphrased):
"L.A. is a reflection of who you are at the moment. It is a mirror. It is just a city, and it is full of people and places and things to be absorbed. When you look into it (because it is so vast) you are not seeing anything else but yourself: your hopes, your dreams, your dissatisfactions. What do you see?"
I saw a lot of anxieties. Well, no, what I saw was a lot of shiny things and loud noises and dirt and grime and also a ton of glitz. I saw Korea Town and I thought "delicious". I saw the Hollywood sign and I thought "sad". I saw young people on the streets and I thought "hipster". All of these things have come from my life. L.A. is what you make of it.
I found a fella on the outskirts of L.A. He says Long Beach isn't L.A. I think it is. Maybe a little. It's a place where people who don't want to necessarily be associated with L.A. live, but want the ability to visit on weekends. That is where I'm at right now in my life. I am not entirely ready to face myself at its fullest just yet. It's all too daunting (like, I'm that deep, right? haHA). But I can live on the outskirts. Look in a little bit. Take in the sights. The shiny isn't as distracting anymore. The streets are still grimy, but I like them. I really like the graffiti. I like knowing that there are people that have been there before me. I'm getting closer to it.
We went to Joshua Tree this weekend, this Long Beach fella and I. He likes to take pictures. I like to take pictures! We share absolutely nothing else in common (yeah right), and we sweat a lot. We found a pool at a cheap motel. We washed off our sweat. Joshua tree is like an oasis. I talked with my bestie Eliza (Miza) about this. She said "the desert is really the last place we can really find these kinds of places, huh?" Yes. She's absolutely right. It is! And the hot was sticky and sweet and we didn't have any AC to speak of, but I was glad to explore the outskirts of LA. I'm always glad. There is never a dull moment.
Especially when you take a dirt road that keeps its end a secret until you look.
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