The Hand

Remembering My 4 Yr Old Imaginary Enemy...

Today was my worst favorite day.  

But not at the first part.  It was good because Mommy let me wear my most best dress. It is pink and oh so soft and goes WOOOOOOSH whenever I spin around in circles as fast as I can.  But I’m not allowed to spin in the house, Mommy says, because I broked her flowers from Grandma that one time.  They weren’t very pretty anyway.  They didn’t even have any flowers on them, just green, so I don’t know why she called them “flowers”.   Sometimes big people get confused, I think.  Mommy says it’s the old she’s catching, but I don’t know who Old is, and who would want to catch a bully like that?  And then she looks at me and says “twenty-seven years and you’re going to be me”.  I get scared, because I don’t want to meet Mr. Old, but then I get un-scared because I remember that twenty-seven is more than fingers and toes and probably isn’t real.  It’s a joke and she’s just trying to make me laugh so I do. 

After we ate the cereal that has the un-fun box on it, I went to the family room to play, but remembered not to move too much or else the Pink One would be put back away and I wouldn’t see it again for a long, long, long time.  So, I sat on the carpet by the big window you can walk through if you want to, and made myself still, still, still.  Then, I noticed I was breathing and that made my tummy go in and out, which was not very still at all, so I made it stop.  But then I remembered I was blinking a whole lot and that also wasn’t very still, so I closed my eyes very tight till I could see the funny shapes in space.  I counted to 10, because that’s the most, and WOW that was hard, so I cut it out.  I couldn’t hear Mommy anymore anyway, which means she is doing her working and will be back out for lunch time.

I wondered where my Teddy back pack went, because he has all of my everything most special, and I didn’t want The Hand to get it.  This made me silent cry a little bit because it made me remember my best friend, Slobber Bunny.  Mommy doesn’t like Slobber Bunny because she says he stinks really bad, but I don’t think so.  I think he smells like the best smell I ever smelled, and he makes me feel okay again if I get scared.  One time, I left Slobber Bunny in my big girl bed to make pee, and when I got back Slobber Bunny was gone.   When I turned around, I saw The Hand go into the closet, so I know he took him.  Mommy and Daddy Ralphie looked everywhere but didn’t find him.  They told me The Hand didn’t take him because he is not real and got mad so I cut it out.  But I knew he did.

I found my Teddy and my four gums, whew, he didn’t take it!  I should be more careful next time.  Then Nikki came in and I asked her if she wanted to play and she said no she was busy.  She’s always busy, but I don’t care, I have my gum, and they can be my sisters, so I make them tell me about their days.  Tina, the yellow one, tells me she went to the movies and fell asleep again.  Stupid Tina.  Cathy is also yellow, so she’s her twin, and she tells me she flew in an airplane and did circles and loops and almost got to the sun.  I told her that was very nice, but Mommy says we’re not supposed to lie in this house, so tell the truth.  She only did one loop.  Then it’s Roberta’s turn, the blue one.  She doesn’t want to talk to me today.  Why not you don’t want to talk to me, Roberta?  It’s because The Hand told her not to that I would foil his plan.  I was thinking what kind of plan would need to be wrapped in silver paper like a potato and then there was a WOOOOOOOSH behind my head and I couldn’t see because my hair was in my eyes.  Then I saw him.  I saw The Hand and he was flying around above the kitchen and above Nikki!  

NIKKI, NIKKI, I screamed, THE HAND IS BEHIND YOU!!!  And you know what she said?  She said “LAUREN, I’m so sick and TIRED of you talking about the stupid HAND!  It’s NOT REAL”. 

But then, the hand pushed her into the oven.  She burned her arm.  I told her so.

We moved.  I remember that day because I threw up into the toilet and it made a rainbow, which I thought was pretty neat.  I locked The Hand in the hallway closet.

And I never saw him ever again.