How to make a garage sale painting more interesting.

The Box

Day 1

"My dearest Lauren - Thank you for coming to visit me and Troubles this weekend. My, how the time has flown by. You are a joy. Thank you for the cinnamon candles, you always know how to make me smile. Going through the old photos of the farm got me to thinking, would you do me a favor, child? I'm just far too - well my body just isn't what it used to be. Have we ever taken you by the old house Mrs. Bards lived in up until '64? It's been sitting there for years, your parents want nothing to do with it (as you know, they're selling the land). I need to get something out before that happens. I know you like this kind of stuff. On the second floor, the room on the end of the hall has been locked. Use the key under the second floorboard. Push the bed and you'll find a box in the floor. 

DO NOT OPEN

Bury it. Don't tell me where. Please don't post this on the Facebook. Ok?

I've included directions and a photo of the house - it was a while ago, it probably doesn't look like that anymore. The people are your great grandparents by the back barn. Aren't they dazzling? I love you please remember to bring Grandma's jar back after you eat the Jam.

Love ya kid, Grandpa"

Day 2

Day 3

Grandpa,

Done and done! I've buried the box as you requested (and threw out the key). They're both deep in the ground - nobody will ever find them :) 

I <3 you!

Lauren

Day 4

Before you were born

In this sea side town

Sad things began to happen

The people were dying

A number would drown

Their tongues and throats seen blackened

A handful were found

Beneath a rock pile

Having fallen to their death

The children went missing

And after a while

Discovered robbed of breath

One man was cut

From elbow to wrist

His teeth, they had been taken

Another one yet

We had to untwist

A task that left many quite shaken

What had been doing

This horrible stuff?

Who would be left to blame?

We had become desperate

This was quite enough

Not many were left to maim!

We went to the witch

Who said that she knew

The evil doers in the town

She gave us a list

And then with a shoo

Released us with a frown.

We couldn’t believe

Who she had numbered

It surely couldn’t be them!

They were God fearing people

And by us some slumbered

But who else could we condemn?

Next we were ordered

To gather their photos

And give them to her to bind

And little Sue’s dolly

For what, we don’t know

We did just what we were assigned

Once that was done

Those people were dead

It happened just under a week

But then our luck turned

Just like she foresaid

So of this no one dared speak

This box you have found

Is where they reside

Be careful now where you will tread

Remember the people

And how they had died

Remember dear what we have said.

Day 5

Bonnie was Baker and Thelma was Butcher

Together they grew quite fat

Step onto their yard and into the cooker

They preferred dogs and cats

And on the occasion a little girl stepped

Or little boy for that matter

Then onto the table they would be swept

And Bonnie and Thelma got fatter

People Will Do Anything for $5 - And I'm Okay With That

Today I discovered Fiverr.com, and let me just say...my budget just got a little more DYNAMIC.

The concept is simple: You have five dollars. Somebody out there on the internet has something they are willing to do for five dollars. CHECK OUT THAT SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP. It's happening. This site connects said people and magic happens. It truly does.

It honestly could be anything ANYTHING people are willing to do for a little bit of cash. And you know what? There is a WHOLE WORLD of crazies/geniuses out there willing to do just about anything.

And then I saw Vinny, who claimed that he would tell somebody off for me in the style of a mafia fella for $5.  My brother is graduating. He needs to be congratulated. Lightbulb went off. Bam. Five bucks well spent.

I do think that this is better than Hallmark, but that's just me.

Congratulations, Rick - I am so proud of you.  You have worked so HARD.  I love you, little brother!

Little Bugger

Big Bugger (and some cute chick)

They're Not Comic Books (They're Graphic Novels...)

So I have my fair share of nerdy friends, which, by the way, I am very proud of.  A nerd friend is like spun gold, and much like Scrooge McDuck, I weigh my collection with tedious care and peculiar excitement.  I also invite them to pool parties and swim amongst them, also like Scrooge McDuck.  There's a trend.

  

    When I make my cards, I think of these precious little nerd trophies of mine.  Because you have to take those friendship horses out for a run every once and a while, it's just good practice.  And like I said, they're my most precious gems, but as you know...not every nerd is built alike.  There's a friggin mold that is broken with every single one in the Nerd Series.

   This one in particular goes out to all of my lovelies who like to sit back, relax, and thumb through their "graphic novels" they probably purchased that Sunday afternoon.  Because they don't work Sundays, and that is the definition of a luxurious Sunday afternoon.  Duh.

My process is archaic.  I recently purchased a Bamboo Tablet that I am dying to try, but I will kind of miss the old fashioned way.




See that ink well and pen?  That's right.  I used that.  I then scanned the image into COREL (I told you I was archaic), and filled all of the spaces much like I used to when I was all about Kid Pix.

My friend Nicole makes amazing illustrations.  Way better than mine.  This week, she told me she does the same thing.  Nice.

Original / Finished

I'ts ok. I brought balloons. See?

Lauren Perez, 2012 All Rights Reserved

When You Feel Like You're Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Recently, I've been feeling a bit low.  Santa Barbara is a beautiful town, but I miss my friends dearly.  There's really nothing like Austin, Texas.  No matter how many times I slip my feet into my cowboy boots and drag people to the boot scoot or make my own danged queso dip (because Californian's have not a CLUE as to what that is) it just doesn't feel the same.  It'll be a year this April that I'll have been living in California, and I feel it 110%.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I sulked in a big fat way.  For a full on week, I was Ms. Energy Suck, it was terrible.  But sometimes, you really just can't partake in the pity party anymore, you've got to DO something that makes you feel good - something that you know is an energy BOOST to everybody else, and the corners of your mouth will start to perk up a bit.  Everyone's will.  And then you can have parties, and I like parties.

There is a girl named Katie who lives in Brooklyn and she is beautiful.  I don't know her.  I just found her blog.  Everything about this girl's energy is bright and uplifting, and when I feel like I'm in a funk, I like to mosey on over to her world and get a happiness tune up.  This time around, I found a great public project of her's I thought I'd fashion into my own little thing for Santa Barbara: Heart Rocks.

I hopped on my bike, called up my friend Cameron, and we were both on our way spreading silliness and encouragement to downtown SB <3

I have so many rocks from the beach under my bed.
Time to put them to good use! 

My bike :)

Get it? :)

Armchair Historian

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What if you and your imaginary friend separated on less than amicable terms...?

Rain dancing for you, Austin.

"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."

Today, I wanted some color in my life.