Do you have what it takes to be a *psychopath*?

Back in college, my friend Eric told me an interesting test he heard that psychologists sometimes use with incarcerated serial killers to determine their psychopathy.  As I've been on this little sociopath/psychopath stint with the fella mentioned in my previous posts, I thought I'd share this one with you fine people as a fun way to see if you have what it takes to make the list.


The Test: 
A woman attends her mother's funeral, and sees a young man across the room that she just can't take her eyes off of.  She learns he is a friend of the family, but never has the opportunity to talk to him through all of the "I'm sorrys" and "this must be so difficult for yous" pressed upon her by the funeral attendants.  She can't get this man out of her mind - she's fallen in love.


The following week, this woman kills her sister.  Why?

ANSWER

So, ya think this guy is full of it? (*yes) (no)

I must be bored, because I am still entertaining the idea of this person.  It's all very fascinating to me and has allowed me to play out my little detective fantasies.  I figure if I post these things for all to see, I'm pretty safe, yes?  If I go missing all of a sudden, you'd know to do a Google search of which production company ruined B.J. Lawson, I'm sure.  You'd also know to check the Langham hotel, but I never said anything about that.  

Below is a texting transcript detailing his defense in nothing short of a mobil NOVEL.  Each break is an independent text blurb - I think these beats are important when deciphering pace in verbal purging.  His is word vomit.  It all made me a bit uncomfortable.  I hate the feeling of being lied to.  

How I unveiled a con artist by cyber stalking (and you should, too).

I am a cyber stalker and I have no shame in declaring this.

But I should differentiate, lest you get the wrong impression.  There are two types of cyber stalkers: the crazy type (A) and the practical type (B).  The crazy type is pretty obvious - you've heard about them.  Heck, you've probably been them.  They are literally cyber STALKING a target, most likely an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or the person their ex is now currently dating.  I am currently not type A.  Then there's type B.  Type B is your average gen x/y computer cruiser who does little mini "background checks" via google, facebook, twitter, etc. before getting into anything serious with potential friends/lovers.  They are doing what most employers do before hiring on a new employee.  We all have reputations, both on and offline.  These days, people are becoming more savvy with how to keep the former in check, but not everybody.

This is where our story begins.

The Langham Hotel in Pasadena

This weekend, I drove up to LA to visit a couple college friends I hadn't seen in years.  Saturday evening, on a lone wolf excursion, I found myself in Pasadena - my old summer stomping grounds.  I stopped by the Langham (formerly the Ritz-Carlton) across the street from my old house, and grabbed myself a glass of wine before making my way back into the heart of the beast that is LA.  Now, I'm not normally receptive to gentlemen approaching me in a bar, but the vibe here is a titch different.  Replace the "mmph mmph" music on Austin's E 6th street with a little live jazz, and the "oops, I didn't mean to graze your butt with my penis" fellas in the club with cigar smoking, brandy swishing Cal Tech academics from down the street.  I have a thing for smarties.  What can I say?

And then he walked up.  Him, with his off white suit, charming smile - dabbing his brow with a cloth handkerchief.  My father is the only man I know who carries around a cloth handkerchief, and this man was obviously not my father's age.  I was immediately intrigued.

You've got more curves than a Triple Integral

Copyright, Lauren P. Perez 2011

     I've always wanted to start off a paragraph with "People always ask me...".  It sounds so refined.  But then it occurred to me that if I ACTUALLY sat here and tried to brainstorm up things that people ask me all the time, JUST so I could use that as a lead in, I was officially mental.

:sigh:  But the brain doesn't turn off and now...

Now I've got to wondering about what it is people ask me about on a regular basis.  Perhaps I shall make some bullets. Why the hell not, I've got a little time to kill.  And lists are what makes my little life go round.

* So, why did you decide to move here? 
(the ocean, next.)

*So if you studied psychology, what am I thinking right. now.  (:sigh: i hate you.)

*Paper or plastic? (paper, please. no, plastic.  no, i'm sorry, paper works for me. :bites nails:)

*What do you want?? (attttennntttttiooooon!)

*Wanna bone? (perhaps...what kind of "bone"?)

*Are we out of T.P.? (YES! :facepalm:  and it's your turn to buy some!!!)

*Why are you up so late? (just to annoy you.)

*Do you dye your hair? (wtf kind of first date question is that?..)

*So, do you like live music? (am i standing? then no. are you always this interesting?)

*What's with your obsession with going fishing...? (because I want to go, dammit, take me!)

*So, like, what do you do for fun? (ughhhhhhhh...see above, now take me!!)

*Why don't you like lemon in your water...? (because it's neither water nor lemonade, and i refuse to entertain such a confused beverage.)


*Can I help you? (no, I'm just looking/please, i've fallen off a cliff)


I just took time out of my life to answer questions to myself asked by myself.  :sigh:  I miss my friends.

Anywho, the reason for this post.  I made that print today.  Funky, right?  What's extra fun is it comes in a couple other colors.  See?

Like them?  They can be yours.  Buy them here.

And yes, I know what a triple integral is.  Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean I'm a total idiot.  Doesn't EVERYBODY?  Psh.  Hello. ;)

Amoeba Love

I am seriously considering making a children's book based on the love of two (or multiple?) amoeba.

Copyright Lauren P. Dodge, 2011

What a bunch of bull[rings].

Once upon a time, my sweets, your grandmother was bet by a tiny leprechaun man that she wouldn't pierce her septum.

And as you may know (or not), she loves a good, creative, hilarious story to tell.

So she took that bet.  And what's more?  It's still pierced (but nobody has seen it for many, many years.)

This was taken in a shower.  :sigh: College...

The sky is gray, the sand is gray, and the ocean is gray.

Last night I sat by the ocean in the rain.

It was dark and the moon was out, but the clouds blanketed the sky so everything was illuminated in varying shades of gray.  My companion heard me say this and said "so many shades of gray".

He was right.  So many shades of gray.  There was depth and movement and life in all colors except color. And it was beautiful.

The saltwater tickled my hair and I thought back to my friend Graham's words.

"Mother Russia is vast."

The ocean is vast.  It is endless, even though maps tell us otherwise.  When you sit there at its shore, watching the heartbeat of the waves, it looks like it could go on forever.  And it does if you let it.  It makes you feel small but in such a good way.  Like none of your problems are as big as you make them out to be.  This is one of the reasons why I moved out here and why I advised my father to do so, too.  The ocean heals things.

The ocean is vast.

Photo Credit: Pete Brun

Lane the Landscape Artist

Today I met a most interesting person.







His name is Lane.



Lane is a painter.  He is also a landscape artist.  I mean literally, he landscapes and also landscapes.

See what I mean?

I think this is pretty neat.


                                   www.lanegoodkind.com

About Face

Learning Fine Art Drawing and Painting Techniques by way of Theatrical Makeup Study and Application

A blank sheet of paper is daunting to any artist.  It’s two dimensional and full of endless possibility.  This may sound exciting, but lets face it – although we might think we want something that offers us countless choices, it is natural for us to become exhaustedly overwhelmed by such a task, and to obsess over what to fill the paper with rather than just doing it.  Taking that piece of paper and replacing it with something more familiar, something that offers fewer options for the artist, we are removing the blank page anxiety from the moment and giving way to real development of artistic skill and aesthetic comprehension.  The human face is an excellent alternative.  We are, psychologically speaking, experts in seeing and reading faces.  In fact, there’s an entire physical portion of our brain designed to do just that!  Unlike a sheet of paper, our faces are three dimensional, and are set in a fixed form that can be accentuated and altered with color and prosthetics.  What we attempt to do when we paint or draw is integrate our third dimensional world into the flat space of the canvas.  By beginning the study of shape and space in our more tangible world, we can begin to fully see and understand the real nature of things.  We can feel and touch what we wish to draw, and connect the position of the object in space to the way the light reveals its shape and contours to our eye.   

Eat your books and read your vegetables.

"We need to make books cool again.  If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them."  - John Waters

This.  Is the best advice I've heard in a long time.

You know, I've made it very clear to my nephews that I am their book aunt.  A book aunt is an aunt who only gives books.  She doesn't give video games, she doesn't give action figures.  She gives books and that is the only thing you'll get out of her.   So, it's best you know what you want to read about, or else you're getting books about WEIRD things, because that is what makes her laugh the most.

I sent my nephew about 5 books the other month with a card that told him this:  "Kieran.  Books are full of information.  Yes, some of it is boring, but there are books out there that have some really interesting ideas in them.  And you know who likes ideas?  Girls.  Girls like boys with lots of ideas.  You should read these books, get these ideas, and then I bet you the girls will be waiting in line."

I was told that he read every one of those books in a week's time.

Good boy.